You Got Issues, The Storm

You Got Issues, The Storm is over

To know me is to not know my story, I don’t just let anyone in, I was born In a storm but I made my own shelter to keep myself safe

I didn’t have a foundation I made it

I was born different so I kept being different

Because I knew being like everybody else

Wouldn’t resonate with me

I had a mother a father and siblings

But it was broken, The love was there

But it wasn’t a solid foundation

My mother the strongest lady I knew

Carried so much weight

When she tipped over or fell

I was her shoulder I was the one to pick

Her back up

Getting her out of the closet and telling the devil

No, you can’t have her

I wasn’t able to be a child I was always mature for my age

Depression was the poison in my family

It attacked every one of us

But you wouldn’t know it got me

Because I kept my mouth shut

I made sure not to make much noise

Because I didn’t want attention on me

People kept telling me growing up I would be just like my sister, so any time I messed up

Anytime I had something going on

No one would know

I was silent, well this is my story I can’t keep my

Mouth shut anymore

I was in a family of diagnoses but somehow it missed me because I wouldn’t let anyone inside my head

to manipulate me

My Father My Mother My Sister

Society told them they were special

So they adapted to it

But to know them they were smart

They taught me how to be strong

Because I took care of them, my father

Was an alcoholic but the hardest-working man I knew

They said my sister was crazy she was always fighting, but she just wanted someone to say I love you and I see you

My mother who wanted love so much she’d go through anything just for the sake of it

Not realizing she just needed to love herself

Her not realizing her worth, Me seeing her in pain I didn’t know my worth till now, I didn’t believe I was enough or that I was pretty

I didn’t even believe I was deserving of love because it hadn’t chosen me yet, people kept breaking my heart, but I patched it back up

I taught myself everything, I put myself through school I didn’t have anyone to help me

They didn’t go to college so it’s always been a struggle for me but I keep pushing

No matter what

No one realized but I was a walking storm

But I manipulated myself to seem that I was happy

I didn’t have anyone to go to

Loneliness was my best friend because it never left me

Demons tried to push me into the water

I thought I was drowning at first

While they were laughing at me

But then I realized I could swim

And I was the one laughing at them

I saw everything, I knew what not to do

To not get me noticed

I struggled and struggled

I fell I tripped I thought God Abandoned me

I didn’t realize he was in me

Because each time I kept fighting I kept getting up

He was the one who was helping me

Who got me to where I am now

Even though I came from a family that was broken, Hurt, betrayed

I never succumbed to it because what God Has In store for me is much more

We never had much money, we didn’t buy brand clothes or shoes we had each other

And that was enough we didn’t always have food in the fridge

But now it’s my time to fill that empty fridge

The devil kept attacking my family and still is

My Mom My Dad And My Sister

And Me he took them down physically and mentally

But I was in the Shadows still fighting no matter what happened I didn’t give up

I suffered sleep paralysis my whole life spiritual attack after spiritual attack

I kept fighting and getting up

The Devil Tried, But I laughed in his face

Because I’m not alone

I protected myself every day, I had to help my mom fight her battles, I had to help my dad when the alcohol took over and he wasn't him anymore, and I had to help my older sister in school I was scared of her my whole life, The devil made her do things that I knew wasn't her, I didn't have anyone to protect me. when I needed a protector, I needed someone to say they were there for me, But it was just me, I was the youngest who just wanted to be the youngest but I had to be the oldest, my life wasn't easy, I built everything that I wanted, that's why I'm scared to let anyone in because you couldn't comprehend what I went through. I had to get away so now I don't have a home when I go back it's like I'm reliving everything, so now I just choose to go forward

This is My Story ♾️🖤☮️

Short Messege- Suicidal Hotline Is 988

If You Ever Need To Contact Me

My Gmail is elliottqiana8@gmail.com

Instagram- @kkarmaluv_

WE GOT THIS DONT QUIT NOW!!!!

typos included I'm free writing 🫶🏾