We Got Issues, Mother Wounds

I love my mother to death, but honestly I never felt like a child I was her right hand

I didn’t run to her for advice when things went down

She was going through her own storms

I locked them deep within

In the inside my inner child was screaming

Mommy please help me I need a hug

I need you, it hurts

I’m scared

But I never felt that connection

I couldn’t run to dad I couldn’t run to my brothers and definitely not my sister

I only had myself I was the youngest

I got stabbed & stabbed again

Repeatedly I healed each wound

I was just a child but I was always

Mature for my age

I handled everything that came my way

All the Pain I alchemized

I gave advice to my mom constantly

But honestly it was really everything

I wanted her to say to me

I didn’t have anyone to lean on but me

It’s quite sad

But this is my story

I was born in a family with depression , special needs , and other disabilities

But I cloaked everything I went through

Cause I didn’t want to be seen

All I knew in my head was I didn’t want to be

Like this

I didn’t want to hold myself back

So I pushed myself I didn’t have anyone to

Motivate me

It was always as long as you try

But Gods Knows I wanted more than that

I wanted a Mother I wanted a family

But i always felt on a soul level

I was all alone

So I hid myself in the background

Facing all my fears head on

Carrying the weight of my mother

Of my Father Of My Sister

But God was with me the whole time

I lived with fear it was kind of my bestfriend

Scared my sister would kill herself

Scared my dad would drink his self away

Scared my mom would actually take the pills

Even after I took it from her

I seen so much her hitting herself

When she got to worried

Her in that closet again

Letting the devil talk to her

All I wanted to be was a child

But no one knew because I suppressed it well

I put my energy into writing, listening to music

My school , reading books constantly ,daydreaming

Daydreaming was fun

But I always had to face reality

And till this day I’m always looking out

For them scared of what will happen

My Mother Didn’t Love Herself

Constantly

Looking for love in this world

When really all she had to was

Look within herself

Short Messege- Suicidal Hotline Is 988

If You Ever Need To Contact Me

My Gmail is elliottqiana8@gmail.com

Instagram- @Kkarmaa_aa

WE GOT THIS DONT QUIT NOW!!!!

typos included I'm free writing 🫶🏾